Madame Muriel Flat Flossie has arrived in New Zealand

Kia Ora Koutou
My travelling pod was mighty comfortable but it is a long way to Aotearoa!   You guys in The States probably don't know that word but I have been here half a day and am already absorbing the Maori culture - at least my new hostess tells me what to say and I dutifully repeat it.  Tena Koutou . Ko Madame Muriel Flat Flossie tenei.
She's no expert in the geography of the USA and I had to ask her to get out the big atlas and show her where Mishawaka is.  

Really small printing in that atlas -  I had to look for ages to find it.   Then she asked me why it was so small when famous people like Stewey, Bosco, Aunty Chrissy and Stewey's Mum lived there.  No answer to that one folks!
Next she showed me where I had come to.  

There's an awful lot of that blue colour in between us so I made certain to tell her that I don't swim. She said not to worry as Air New Zealand has a really good reputation and she will make sure I travel on the Kiwi airline.   Kiwi?   Tonight she introduced me to Kiwi -  a native bird of this tiny country, the kiwi doesn't have wings, can't fly and only comes out at night.   Travel is supposed to broaden horizons and increase experience but jet lag ensures I don't really understand how a bird can't fly!
My passport has generated a lot of interest - nobody here has seen such a unique one and they asked me why there was no identity chip in it.   Apparently the 'Kiwis' (not the birds silly that's what these New Zealanders call themselves) need an identity chip in their passports if they enter the United States.   Anyway, as usual my timing is impeccable.   She and her elderly mother who is called HDHBEM (??) are going on holiday very soon and will take me with them to the Gumboot Capital of the World.   I just want to see some sheep and some of this "Clean Green New Zealand" that the travel brochures promised me.  
Well folks, I'm real tired and I need to find out where my guest room is and have me some shut eye.   She and the HDHBEM live in a small two bedroom apartment and I expressed concern that my snoring might keep them awake but HDHBEM said not to worry, she snores the loudest of all!
Good night all. Ka Kite Anou